Otaku no Miko no Monogatari
by BeastmasterFC
Summary: A girl with no options left and a burning love of anime finds a mysterious book and is catapulted into a multiple-world journey filled with surprises and romance. A FY spinoff, not a parody.
1. The Legend Begins to Move

Otaku no Miko no Monogatari: Prologue  
  
The Legend Begins To Move  
  
by Fire Child  
  
Hello, nihao, guten tag, konnichi wa, hola, bonjour, and any other way to say 'Hi!' you can think of! This (the title translates to 'The Story of the Priestess of Otaku') was inspired by a wonderful fic on Chichiri no da's page called 'Otaku no Miko'. I also stole a few phrases and objects (like Duo's and Kurama's kanji names and placements, the pendant, and Duo's seishi power). Don't sue, onegai! I don't own these characters (though I wish I did, nudge, nudge, wink, wink). All you'll get is dust bunnies, rants, fic notes and bad fanart.  
  
A bedraggled, tired girl staggered up the steps of the Tokyo Public Library. "Great," she noted, "the library's open." She approached one of the librarians on duty, a kind-looking, middle-aged lady, and said, "Konban wa, shisho-san. Watashi wa Dandori Arin des.[1] I have no place to stay." Taking in the dark circles under the girl's eyes, the librarian said,  
  
"The benches in the archives are padded. You can sleep on one of them."  
  
"Domo arigatou gozaimasu." Arin decided to explore a bit before sacking out. A door with the words 'Important Documents' lay open, and, true to her insatiably curious nature, Arin went in. A large room full of books met her gaze. Backing into the room, Arin bumped into a shelf, and a book fell out and hit her in the head. "Itai! Nani yo?"[2] And then, seeing the book's cover, she exclaimed, "DAAA! Sore wa kiseki des!"[3] The book that had hit the tired girl was none other than the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho! Reverently, the by now wide-awake teen opened the book. A sudden impulse seized her, and she read the familiar incantation out loud, but it was changed. "Herein contains the tale of a young lady and her quest to gather the seven Otaku no Shichiseishi together. And if you, the esteemed reader, should read to the story's end, the spell contained within this book shall bestow upon you the powers of the heroine, and grant you your wish. For indeed the moment the page is turned, the story will become reality." Then, suddenly, Arin was surrounded by a red light and pulled into the book!  
  
AND THUS THE YOUNG LADY OF LEGENDS OPENED THE DOOR TO ANOTHER WORLD, AND LIKEWISE BEGAN OUR TALE.  
  
  
  
[1] 'Hello, Mrs. Librarian. I am Arin Dandori.'  
  
[2] 'Ow! What the heck?'  
  
[3] 'It's a miracle!'  
  
Note: 'Dandori' = 'Preparation'.  
  
  
  
Next time:  
  
Otaku no Miko no Monogatari: Chapter 1  
  
'Otaku no Miko' 


	2. Otaku no Miko

1 Otaku no Miko no Monogatari: Chapter 1  
  
Otaku no Miko  
  
By Fire Child  
  
Yo! The disclaimers are in the prologue, if anyfur wants to read 'em. Enjoy!  
  
Arin woke up on the ground. "Where the *%#@ am I?!" There was a snicker from the trees behind her, and three rough-looking characters stepped into the clearing.  
  
"I bet we'll get a lot for her! She's dressed weird, but she's a babe," the obvious leader said. Arin hissed.  
  
"Three on one? Loading the odds a bit, aren't you, kisamara? Aho ga," she added scornfully. The first goon lunged for her, but she dodged out of the way and landed a sharp blow to the back of his neck. Unfortunately, the blow didn't have quite the desired effect, and she found herself pinned, succumbing to instinct and releasing a piercing screech. An inarticulate yell of rage reverberated through the small clearing, and Arin's attacker was abruptly gone, blasted off of her by a sphere of blood-colored ki. Arin knew that ki! "Chichiri! Tasukete!" The call came late, however, as the three goons had already fled. Arin sighed with relief. "Arigatou, Chichiri! Anou… how is Miaka?" The blue- haired mage grinned.  
  
"She went home a week ago, no da!"  
  
"So only you and Tasuki are left, ne?"  
  
"Eto… hai, no da. How did you… oh, never mind, no da. I was going to visit him when I heard you yell, no da. Would you like to come, no da?" Arin beamed at him, her favorite Suzaku Shichiseishi. "I guess that's a 'yes', no da! Let's go then, no da!" And off they went. The first sign that they were being watched was a whistle, enough like a bird cry to fool the casual listener. A blue-haired, scarred bandit suddenly popped down from an overhanging limb, hanging by his knees, right in front of them.  
  
"Oi, Genrou! It's yer buddy Chichiri, and he's got a girl with 'im! She's cute, too," he added as the startled teenager made a mock-angry face.  
  
"Bakayaro," Arin said, but she was laughing as she said it. "Get outta the tree, Kouji, and stand right-side-up! Yer givin' me a headache!" Seeing he wasn't about to do that, Arin hunted up a rock and threw it at the limb Kouji was hanging from. The bandit yelped and fell out of the tree, hitting the dirt road hard enough to raise a dust cloud. Suddenly, Tasuki appeared out of nowhere, howling with laughter at his friend's predicament.  
  
"She got ya there, bro! Oi, Chichiri! Hisashaburi! So, since…"  
  
"Dandori Arin des," Arin said, recognizing what Tasuki needed to know.  
  
"Since Arin here is pretty &%#@'in obviously from somewhere like Miaka's world, I betcher goin' to see the old bag, na?"  
  
"Hai, we are going to see Taiitsukun no da," Chichiri answered evenly.  
  
"Then, how 'bout ya stay the night and go there in the morning? It's evening anyway." Arin whooped.  
  
"Yatta!"  
  
"Nan da yo?"  
  
"I get to spend the night at Mount Leikaku and meet Taiitsukun the next day? Yatta! The obvious aside, I've kinda always wanted to meet the Nyan-Nyans." Tasuki raised an eyebrow. "It's called mothering instinct, aho! They DO look JUST like kawaii little kids, after all…" After Arin said that, she could have sworn she heard a 'Hmph!' from somewhere. Suddenly, Kouji interrupted, still brushing road dust off his clothes.  
  
"Do you really know who I am?" Arin grinned.  
  
"Do you want me to repeat what you said when coming to Genrou's rescue after Miaka was pulled back to her world by the power of Seiryu? I can, you know." At Kouji's nod, she said his entire 'entrance speech' in a passable imitation of Kouji. "Gomen kudasai! Who is it? It's an incredibly dashing fellow coming to save his boss from a tight spot! Oh, ureshii! Please, come in! A-ri-ga-TOU, Kouji des." The rest of the Mount Leikaku bandits started to laugh at the look on Kouji's face. Tasuki was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe, but he still managed to gasp out,  
  
"&*%#'in PERFECT!" Another bandit yelled,  
  
"He looks like he just got kicked in the gut!"  
  
"Urusai," Kouji growled. At the entrance to the Mount Leikaku hideout, Arin tried to control her gape, wishing fervently that she had a camera handy.  
  
"PARTY!" roared Tasuki.  
  
"PARTY! PARTY!" echoed the rest of the bandits. Some time later, Arin was pleasantly buzzed from all the sake she'd consumed. Indecisive on which of the two seishi to glomp, she shrugged and grabbed both of them, sprawling into their laps.  
  
"Oops," she said, not really sorry. Tasuki, just as plastered as Arin, noticed the feet in his lap and decided to tickle them. Unfortunately for Arin, her feet were her sensitive spot, and she squeaked, curling up into a ball in Chichiri's lap. "Waan! Chichiri, tasukete kudasai!" she pleaded with the monk. But no help was to be had as the blue-haired seishi tickled her as well. "WAA!" A thought made its way through her alcohol-sodden brain, and she tickled back.  
  
"Iyan, no da! Yamete, no da!" But she didn't cease her attack, and finally, Chichiri had to enlist Tasuki's aid to pry her off, only to have her glomp onto Tasuki like a barnacle onto a boat. Suddenly realizing just what it was she wanted to do, Arin wriggled in Tasuki's grip and locked lips with the startled bandit. When the flame-haired seishi recovered from his shock and began to kiss back, well… Arin's brain decided it wanted nothing to do with this and went on an abrupt vacation, leaving Arin to sigh and melt against the fanged boy. When Tasuki pulled away, Arin noticed that Chichiri had removed his mask. Predictably, Arin's alcohol-sloshed hormones clamored,  
  
You'll never have a better chance! Arin agreed, plopped herself down in the blue-haired Seishi's lap, and kissed the startled mage soundly, moaning softly into his mouth as he began to kiss back, and her brain, prudish thing that it was, fled completely yet again, leaving her solely a creature of emotion and feeling. As she pulled away, she dimly heard Tasuki say,  
  
"Oi, Chichiri, yer symbol's glowin', same as mine was when she kissed me." Arin giggled and staggered, leaning against Chichiri for support, but stumbling anyway, forcing the sweatdropping seishi to scoop her up in his arms.  
  
"Mebbe I set it off? Mmm. Yer warm."  
  
"And you're drunk, no da!"  
  
"'M not THAT drunk!"  
  
"Can you stand, no da?"  
  
"Mm, no."  
  
"Then yer drunk," Tasuki piped up. Arin mumbled drunkenly, snuggling up against the tall Seishi,  
  
"'s not like I WANNA stand up." Chichiri blushed.  
  
"Daa…" Then, Chichiri straightened. "Time for you to sleep this off, no da. I'm… eto… a bit worried about what you might do, no da." Arin growled muzzily.  
  
"I don't need to be protected from the big bad bandits, Chichiri. I c'n take care of myself." The blue-haired monk was unfazed.  
  
"Maybe you can when you're sober, no da, but right now, you are most definitely NOT sober, no da!"  
  
"Aww." But listen she did, and she fell asleep before her head even hit the pillow. The next morning was unpleasant. Arin rolled out of bed, literally, and landed on a still-slumbering Chichiri, who had slept on the floor that night, jarring her bad back something fierce, "Darn back!" as well as startling a loud 'DAA!' from the blue-haired monk. "Gomen, Chichiri!" Then she realized something. "%#*@! My head is friggin' KILLING me!" Tasuki was already up, and he handed the badly hung over Arin a cup of something vile-smelling.  
  
"Drink it. It's a hangover remedy." Arin held her nose and drank, feeling her headache clear up immediately.  
  
"That stuff is a freakin' LIFESAVER!" Tasuki's expression faltered for a second.  
  
"It's one of Mitsukake's herbal messes. Yer right, it is a lifesaver." He suddenly shifted conversational gears. "I'm gonna go with ya to see Sunakake Baabaa[1]…" he cut off as Arin glared, "ahem… Taiitsukun. That OK?"  
  
"Hai!" Chichiri was waiting for them. He had his kesa spread out and ready for them.  
  
"Climb on, no da!" Tasuki and Arin did as instructed, Tasuki with the easy familiarity of long practice, Arin with some trepidation. The way to Mount Daikiyoku, fortunately, was already open, so Chichiri had only to tap the kesa with his shakujou to get them on their way. At the mountain, Arin barely got a chance to look around before the wrinkled face of Taiitsukun dominated her field of vision.  
  
"Ah, the Otaku no Miko. I thought so. What's your name, child?" Arin steeled herself.  
  
"Taiitsukun-sama? Hajimemashite. Watashi wa Dandori Arin des." [2]  
  
"You have an accent." Taiitsukun proclaimed.  
  
"I'm a half-blood. The man who was my father is a gaijin, Taiitsukun-sama."  
  
"You are an orphan?"  
  
"No, Taiitsukun-sama. The two who gave me life are still alive."  
  
"And yet?" Arin sighed.  
  
"And yet I have no parents. Parents love you. I never had anyone like that." Then Arin thought of something. "What's with this 'Otaku no Miko' business? There are only two seishi remaining." Taiitsukun began to speak.  
  
"Yes, and they are Otaku no Shichiseishi, but an otaku by definition never watches only one series."  
  
"So you're saying my remaining 5 seishi are in other worlds?"  
  
"Yes. Nyan-Nyan!" A blue-haired little girl popped out of a bubble (making Arin squeal 'KAWAII!') and handed Arin a silver chain and a silver pendant with script reading, in gold letters, 'Otaku-4-Ever', but, before Taiitsukun could explain what it did, the Nyan-Nyan asked Arin,  
  
"Nyan-Nyan fix back?" Arin beamed. Her back had been bothering her since a little after her 15th birthday.  
  
"Yes please!" A pink bubble appeared at the bottom of Arin's spine and, controlled by the Nyan-Nyan, spread to the nape of her neck and vanished into the skin. Arin whooped and hugged the little girl. "Arigatou, Nyan-Nyan!" For the first time in over a year, her back did not hurt. The Nyan-Nyan smiled and vanished.  
  
"As I was about to say," Taiitsukun continued, "that pendant will transport you to each world the sunset after you finish with the one you're in, so if you think you're done with a world, stick together!"  
  
"HAI!" After that, the conversation shifted to things neither Arin or Tasuki cared much about, so they left. Arin noticed Tasuki talking to someone she couldn't see.  
  
"Let me guess. You're talking to the rest of the Suzaku Seishi, and I can't see them to tell them what I want to say."  
  
"'Fraid so." Arin drooped, but four Nyan-Nyans appeared.  
  
"Nyan-Nyans help!" There was a sense of rushing wind, and suddenly, instead of four Nyan-Nyans, Nuriko, Chiriko, Mitsukake and Hotohori stood there.  
  
"WAI!" She stopped herself before she glomped them. "It's really you!" She looked straight at Chiriko. "Yoroshiku, Chiriko! I wanted to say only two things. First, what you did was very brave. I couldn't have done anything like that, mainly because heroics don't do much when you want to stay alive. Second, I've always thought you were cool. I have a soft spot for bookworms, being one myself." She hugged the small boy and turned to Mitsukake. "Yoroshiku, Mitsukake! I saw what you did to keep that little girl alive. That was a noble thing you did. Oh, and thank you for the hangover cure! It's a lifesaver after one of Fang-chan's parties!" Tasuki growled a little at the nickname, and Arin likewise hugged the silent healer before turning to Nuriko. "Yoroshiku, Nuriko-neechan!" Tasuki blinked.  
  
"Ano… Arin? Nuriko's a guy."  
  
"Not where it counts!" Arin and Nuriko said at the same time, then grinned at each other.  
  
"As I was going to say, I saw what you did to help the rest of the Suzaku Seishi get the Byakko Shinazahou. That was a very brave thing to do. You showed no fear, just did what you had to do. Also, I think I envy you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"At first glance, you're a beautiful, delicate woman, a perfect target for a pervert, but anyone stupid enough to make you mad had better be good with his or her gods. Besides, you're beautiful!" Arin hugged the feminine seishi before turning at last to Hotohori. "Koutei Heika." She bowed. The swordsman looked discomfited.  
  
"Please, call me Hotohori."  
  
"Unfortunately, because of trouble with my speech, I can't pronounce your name!"  
  
"Then what do you refer to me as? I won't be angry if it's informal."  
  
"I usually refer to you as Hori, or sometimes Niichan because I wish I'd had a brother like you, just like I wish I'd had a sister like Nuriko. You're cool! I have a soft spot for anyone who can swing a sword," she added, faintly embarrassed. Hotohori spoke.  
  
"I heard from Tasuki that you somehow saw all four of us," he indicated himself, Nuriko, Mitsukake, and Chiriko, "die. Is it true?" Arin sniffled faintly.  
  
"Tasuki is telling the truth. I saw your death almost first-hand, and it had me in floods. I was crying my eyes out, saati."  
  
"What does saati mean?"  
  
"It means a friend of the heart, as dear as family. Yes, I made it up, but so what? I see you, as well as the rest of the Suzaku Seishi and the Suzaku no Miko, as dear friends, as close as family." Touched, the former Emperor of Konan hugged her.  
  
"Thank you," and then, he added with a smile, "saati." Arin wiped away her tears and sniffled.  
  
"I suppose you have to go now. Sayonara, minna-san. Sayonara, Hori- niichan, Nuriko-neechan, Mitsukake-san, Chiriko-chan!" The sense of rushing wind returned, and, when it left, the Nyan-Nyans were back to their own shapes and minds, but Arin could still faintly sense the four deceased Seishi. Suddenly, Chichiri came running.  
  
"Come to the throne room, you two, no da! The sun is about to set, no da!" Tasuki and Arin looked at each other, yelled, almost as one,  
  
"Oh, shit!", and dashed off after the blue-haired seishi. In the throne room, Taiitsukun stood. Well, hovered, anyway.  
  
"I wish you luck, Otaku no Miko. Go with her, Tasuki, Chichiri, the sun is about to set." As soon as the two Suzaku Seishi reached Arin, the sun set. Almost immediately, Arin felt a burst of heat in the space between her collarbones. She looked down, only to see the pendant glowing with a black light. She had only time to think,  
  
'Wait a minute, how can anything glow black…', before she, along with her two seishi, was whisked into the void between worlds.  
  
[1] 'Sand-Throwing Old Witch'. I have no clue how this relates to Taiitsukun, but maybe Tasuki does.  
  
[2] 'Lady Taiitsukun? Pleased to meet you. I am Arin Dandori.'  
  
  
  
Next time: Otaku no Miko no Monogatari: Chapter 2  
  
Boy Soldier 


	3. Boy Soldier

Otaku no Miko no Monogatari: Chapter 2  
  
Boy Soldier  
  
By Fire Child  
  
Heyla! Welcome to chapter 2! Just so ya know, I see {Otaku Shichiseishi #3} as a sibling, not a crush, but I didn't know how to write it with anyone else. Disclaimers are in the prologue because I hate having to type sh*t twice.  
  
The first thing Arin noticed when she woke up was that Tasuki's tessen was digging into her stomach. Only after that thought percolated through her confused brain did she take note of the rest. To wit: She and her Seishi were lying in a pile in a scrap yard, and the horizon curved up. As she contemplated this fact, the fiery redhead below her woke with a curse, shouting, "Arin! Gerroffa me! Yer &%@#'in HEAVY!"  
  
"Look," Arin growled into the bandit's ear, "I'd get offa you, but Chichiri is lying on ME, and he's probably a good portion of why yer squished. So shuttup." At that moment, Chichiri woke, causing a chain reaction of rolling off and standing up. However, as soon as the two Seishi saw the horizon, they threw themselves back down, with a 'Daa!' and a curse respectively. A new, California-esque voice burst into laughter, and Arin looked over at its source. The newcomer said,  
  
"Relax, you two. I won't go into the physics of this space colony, but you're perfectly OK." Suddenly, the stranger burst into full view.  
  
"DUO!" Arin shrieked, tackle-glomping the stunned pilot. His gasp of surprise turned into one of pleasure as their lips met. When Arin pulled away, Tasuki asked sardonically,  
  
"Do you do that to everyone you meet?" Arin picked up a dirt clod and threw it at the fanged Seishi. He dodged it easily and flashed a cocky grin. "Well?"  
  
"Nope," was the Miko's reply. "Just the bishounen." Suddenly, Arin turned to see… "Nani?" Duo was gaping at two perpendicular scars on his collarbone, which were glowing black. "Waitaminute… ni! His Seishi symbol is the kanji for the number 2! Perfect for someone named Duo, ne? Hey, Duo, you're an Otaku Shichiseishi!" Arin halted her excited monologue to watch Duo dash off towards a shack about 300 feet away.  
  
"Well?" he shouted back. "You coming?" The three newcomers to the Gundam Wing universe dashed off after their erstwhile host. Duo was digging around in his bookshelf, then surfaced with a happy cry. "I knew it was here!" It was a Fushigi Yuugi manga. The ever-genki pilot flipped through the pages, stopping at a picture of Tasuki and holding the manga out to the bandit. "That you, man?"  
  
"Yeah, it is!" Duo turned to Arin.  
  
"OK, so, how do you know me?" Arin smiled.  
  
"You're an anime character in my world. I can reel off the vital stats for all five of you Gundam pilots, as well as the stats for two OZ figures you might know." Duo smirked.  
  
"OK, shoot." All the animation abruptly went out of Arin's face, leaving her expression devoid of any emotion and her gaze cool and computer-like.  
  
"Running Gundam Database. Running files on Pilot 01. Name: Heero Yuy. Real name: Odin Lowe Jr. Aliases: The Perfect Soldier. Age: 16. Nationality: Japanese. Hair: Brown. Eyes: Prussian blue. Birthdate: Unknown. Star sign: Unknown. Special abilities: Unusually high pain threshold. Presence of an otherspace pocket in his shorts suspected but not confirmed. Surviving family: Unknown. Mobile suits piloted: Gundam Wing. Gundam Wing Zero. Gundam Epyon, Mercurius. End 01 files. Continue?"  
  
"Yes," Duo said, visibly shaken by Arin's robot-like behavior.  
  
"Running files on Pilot 02. Name: Duo Maxwell. Real name: Unknown. Aliases: Shinigami. Age: 16. Nationality: American. Hair: Chestnut brown. Eyes: Blue-purple. Birthdate: Unknown. Star sign: Unknown. Special abilities: Use of thermal scythe underwater. Extreme facility with stealth procedures. Surviving family: None. Mobile suits piloted: Gundam Deathscythe, Gundam Deathscythe Hell, Gundam Wing Zero. End 02 files. Continue?" This time, it was Tasuki who agreed.  
  
"Hai."  
  
"Running files on Pilot 03. Name: Trowa Barton. Real name: Triton Bloom. Aliases: The Silencer. Age: 16. Nationality: German. Hair: Brown. Eyes: Green. Birthdate: Unknown. Star sign: Unknown. Special abilities: Extreme gymnastic abilities. Bond with animals. Surviving family: Sister, Catherine Bloom. Mobile suits piloted: Gundam Heavyarms, Gundam Wing Zero, Vayeate. End 03 files. Continue?" Chichiri chirped,  
  
"Hai, no da!"  
  
"Running file on Pilot 04. Real name: Quatre Raberba Winner. Aliases: The Desert Knight. Age: 16. Nationality: Arabic, of Berber blood. Hair: Blond. Eyes: Blue. Birthdate: Unknown. Star sign: Unknown. Special abilities: Empathic, this power is dubbed the 'uchuu no kokoro'. Surviving family: 29 older sisters." Tasuki winced in sympathy. "Mobile suits piloted: Gundam Sandrock, Gundam Wing Zero. End 04 files. Continue?" Duo was genuinely curious now.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Running file on Pilot 05. Real name: Chang Wufei. Aliases: The Solitary Dragon. Age: 16. Nationality: Chinese. Hair: Black. Eyes: Black. Birthdate: Unknown. Star sign: Unknown. Special abilities: Highly competent swordsman. Surviving family: None. Mobile suits piloted: Gundam Shenlong, Gundam Altron. End 05 files. End Gundam files. Run OZ Database?"  
  
"YES!" all 3 Otaku seishi yelled at once.  
  
"Running OZ Database. Running files on former OZ general, Treize Khushrenada. Aliases: None. Age: 20's. Nationality: Russian. Hair: Ginger. Eyes: Blue. Birthdate: Unknown. Star sign: Unknown. Special abilities: None. Surviving family: Daughter, Marimeia Khushrenada, also known as Marimeia Barton. Mobile suits piloted: Tallgeese II. End files on Treize. Running files on former OZ lieutenant, Zechs Merquise. Real name: Milliardo Peacecraft. Aliases: The Lightning Count. Age: 20. Nationality: European. Specific country unknown. Hair: Platinum blond. Eyes: Ice blue. Birthdate: Unknown. Star sign: Unknown. Special abilities: Only human able to pilot the mobile suit Tallgeese. Surviving family: Sister, Relena Peacecraft. Mobile suits piloted: Tallgeese, Gundam Epyon. End OZ Database. Report complete." With that, the emotion came back into Arin's face, and she beamed at her gaping Seishi. "Anything else ya wanna know?" For the first time in his life, Duo Maxwell was lost for words.  
  
"Uh, how…"  
  
"I'm literally a living computer. I can process as complete a database as it's possible to process on whatever subject I wish, as well as having almost infinite non-self-contained research parameters. For example, I can tell you off the top of my head how the powers of most of the main X-Men could be explained by science, but I'd hafta search the Internet to find out how a sun-gun works, because I don't know." Duo blinked.  
  
"Sun-gun?"  
  
"That's what I've dubbed Wing's beam cannon."  
  
"Oh." Sometime later in the day, Arin sighed contentedly and looked around the shack. Chichiri was meditating and Duo was teaching Tasuki the finer nuances of Tekken. She smiled and plopped down next to Duo.  
  
"Y'know, I wish I could meet the rest of you, but Quatre would prolly be the only one, besides you, a'course, I'd end up pals with. I mean, Heero wouldn't trust me, Trowa wouldn't even talk, and Wufei would prolly call me 'onna', which would mean I'd hafta hit 'im." Duo snickered. "He's even worse of a misogynist than Tasuki is." Tasuki blinked.  
  
"What the hell is a misa… mis… what the hell did you say, anyway?" Seeing Tasuki with his face contorted and his tongue out with the effort of pronouncing the new word, Arin giggled.  
  
"Misogynist. Woman-hater." Tasuki humphed.  
  
"Well, how the hell am I supposed to know that? Damn, you talk like ya swallowed the friggin' dictionary!" Arin promptly pulled akanbe[1] at her pyro-kinetic friend.  
  
"Biiidaaa. I know big words, so I gotta use 'em." The fiery Seishi rolled his eyes.  
  
"Ya sound like Chiriko." Arin bowed, an odd contortion in a sitting person.  
  
"A-ri-ga-TOU!" Tasuki razzed her, then swore as Duo took the opportunity presented to kick his on-screen alter-ego's butt.  
  
"Aw, MAN! You cheated, short stuff!" Duo growled.  
  
"Dude, I am NOT short. I'm vertically challenged, hear? And I do NOT cheat. You left yourself wide open, fang-boy."  
  
"Ack! Below the belt! 'Course, I doubt ya could hit above the belt, shrimp." Duo growled, and then punched the smirking Seishi in the stomach. As Tasuki doubled over, the wind going out of his lungs with a ~whoosh~, Duo smirked and said,  
  
"There. That was above the belt." Tasuki was too winded to answer, so he settled for a glare. Arin struggled to keep from releasing a particularly shrill giggle. She sighed at her inability to avoid laughing like a deranged chipmunk, then thought,  
  
Man, if Kusanagi is one of my Seishi, which is likely despite his being a do-ecchi imo-atama[2], then he'll prolly tease me about that. Then, Arin noticed Chichiri, still meditating. Snickering, Arin crept over and tugged the slim lock of hair at the nape of the monk's neck.  
  
"DAA!" Chichiri snapped out of meditation with a shout, then promptly went chibi. Arin laughed, snagged Duo's Polaroid camera from the sideboard, and took a picture.  
  
"This one's for the album," she said, feeling very self-satisfied. Then she thought of something. "Oi, Tasuki! Pose!" Tasuki pulled a 'V'-symbol, and Arin snapped the picture. "Oi, Duo! Pose!" Duo locked his hands behind his head and waggled his hips insouciantly. Arin took the picture. "Duo, can I borrow this camera?" The braided pilot shrugged.  
  
"Sure, as long as I get it back once this little adventure's over."  
  
"OK." Arin grinned. "Hey, minna! We still got an hour 'til sunset, right, Duo?" At the pilot's affirmative, Arin continued. "Let's get a group shot! Something to make the BGers jealous, ne?" Tasuki asked,  
  
"Whaddaya mean, BGers?" Arin grinned.  
  
"The people, mainly girls, at the message board I post to, which is called the Breeding Ground, or, less formally, Bob."  
  
"Bob, no da?"  
  
"Bob. Wait… Duo? How long a holding period do we have on the picture timer?"  
  
"3 minutes."  
  
"Cool. Set it fer max, dude. We're gonna take a picture the likes of which has never been seen on Bob before!" Duo did so, then tucked himself under Arin's right arm, as soon as she'd settled on the couch, then Chichiri followed, tucking himself under her left arm. Tasuki looked at the arrangement, grinned, and plopped himself at her feet. "What are you…" But Arin's query was cut off as the fire-haired bandit locked his arms around her waist and rested his head in her lap. Arin sighed, temporarily unwinding her arm from around Duo to run her fingers through the mop of fiery silk on her lap, then, leaving just enough time for her to replace her arm around the grinning pilot's shoulders, the flash went off. "Oh, yeah," Arin smirked, seeing the results, "this one's definitely going down in infamy." The three Otaku Seishi gathered around their Miko to see the picture, then laughed.  
  
"HELL yeah, that one's gonna be infamous!" Tasuki grinned. The last 45 minutes were spent taking pictures. A picture was taken of Arin pinning Tasuki to the floor, straddling his waist, and Tasuki looking… rather happy actually. Arin flopped into Duo's lap next, and, of course, Chichiri took a picture. Then Duo reclaimed his camera, taking a picture just as Chichiri scooped Arin up in his arms. Then, just as the last shot, a Tasuki/Chichiri/Duo group shot with the three of them with their arms over each other's shoulders, grinning stupidly and flashing victory-symbols, was safely sequestered in Arin's photo album, the pendant that marked her as the Otaku no Miko began to glow a deep, verdant green. As the emerald light enveloped them, the four friends felt once again, well, for the first time as far as Duo was concerned, the immeasurable heat of the way between the worlds.  
  
===============================================================  
  
[1] Akanbe is the word for pulling down your eyelid and sticking your tongue out, a common anime face.  
  
[2] 'do-etchi imo-atama' = 'really perverted potato-head'.  
  
Next time:  
  
Otaku no Miko no Monogatari: Chapter 3  
  
Dude Looks Like A Lady 


	4. Dude Looks Like A Lady

1 Otaku no Miko no Monogatari: Chapter 3  
  
Dude Looks Like A Lady  
  
By Fire Child  
  
Ohayo! Yes, I am finally getting off my butt and writing Chapter 3. The title of this chapter is taken from a *memorable* Ranma ½ songfic. *bows down to the author* Sorry for keeping peeps waiting! (if, indeed, you were waiting)  
  
Arin and her three Seishi awoke in a strange, early-morning forest. As usual, Tasuki immediately asked the question on everybody's minds. "Ano… why the hell is the sky purple?" Arin looked up and beamed.  
  
"It's purple because we're in the Makai, which means we're in the YuYuHakusho universe, which means I have a good idea who my next Seishi is."  
  
"But not WHERE he is?" Arin was unfazed.  
  
"Of course not, baka. But I bet he's close. Seishi in this thing tend to be." With that, Arin started walking. Tasuki and the other two Otaku Seishi had just caught up when a black blur shot out of the trees, resolved into a short, yet tough-looking, boy, and held the katana he carried at Arin's throat.  
  
"OK, don't move. If you're the youkai that's been wreaking havoc, I suggest you surrender. If you're interested in staying alive, that is. If you aren't, well, I'll be happy to oblige your wishes." Arin masked a sigh.  
  
"Hiei-san, do either me or my companions look like youkai?" Another blur in the forest resolved itself into a green-eyed bishounen with a waist- length mane of scarlet hair.  
  
"She's right," Kurama said, "they all look unashamedly human to me." Hiei 'hn'-ed, but put the katana away nevertheless, grunting yet again at the arrival of Kuwabara and Yuusuke. Arin sighed with relief, then asked,  
  
"Do any of you have scars or tattoos that look like kanji symbols?" Kurama blinked.  
  
"Why, yes! I have a tattoo that reads 'kitsune' on the back of my neck from the first, and hopefully last, time I was captured by Yomi." Arin's face went blank, then she grinned.  
  
"Oh yeah, Ear-boy!" Yuusuke snickered at Arin's name for Yomi. "Give him a good kick for me next time ya see him, 'k?" Kurama lifted up his mane of hair so that Arin could see the symbol.  
  
"Well, there it is, but what's the deal?" Arin shivered at the feel of his voice right in her ear. Concerned, Kurama turned to her. "Are you all… Mmmph!" Kurama's query was cut off as Arin kissed him, but then he began to get into the kiss. Arin's mind was in shock. Kurama kissed so differently from the rest of her Seishi! And Seishi he surely was, for even as Arin's senses drowned in the most sensual kiss she'd ever received, her hands, at the nape of his neck, felt a burst of heat and her closed eyes registered a flare of verdant green. When the kitsune pulled away, with an expression on his face very like the cat who's not only gotten the canary but consumed several bowls of cream as well, Arin was panting slightly, her eyes unfocused with pure, sensual pleasure. She looked around at the assembled Seishi and Reikai Tantei. Kuwabara was blushing slightly, Yuusuke was snickering, Hiei had an expression on his face that was a very odd mixture of surprise and distrust, Duo looked faintly surprised, and Tasuki and Chichiri had identical expressions on their faces, reading clear as day,  
  
Why does this not surprise us? Suddenly, a familiar, blue-ponytailed, pink-kimono-clad figure appeared, hovering on her oar.  
  
"Ohayo, minna!" Botan chirped. "We found the youkai, it's an A-class, and it's making a mess of the stadium they used in the Ankoku Bujutskai!" Arin grinned.  
  
"Great, Botan! Can we…" she indicated herself, Tasuki, Chichiri and Duo, "…help? I can fight even though I don't have much in the way of ki attacks, that goes double for Duo, he's the one with the braid,"  
  
"Just call me Shinigami!" Duo butted in. Arin glared at the braided boy and continued.  
  
"Tasuki and Chichiri can, and do, fight with magic." The Reikai Annanin[1] shrugged.  
  
"Why not? I'm sure we'll need the help." Arin gave vent to a bloodthirsty chuckle.  
  
"Arigatou, Botan-chan!" Once they got to the stadium, they saw the youkai. This was not hard, as said youkai was the size of Godzilla. Half of a feral grin later, Arin had slipped an Amazon knife[2] out of a hip pouch and fixed it over her knuckles. Chichiri had his staff in a defensive position, Tasuki's tessen was out, and Duo had drawn his gun. Yuusuke's index finger was softly glowing, Kuwabara's Rei Ken was blazing (Tasuki had said 'COOL!', among other things, upon seeing it), Kurama had a rose in his hand, primed and ready (a fact which somewhat surprised Duo), and, last but not least, Hiei's katana was drawn, his Ja Gan was uncovered, and Arin could see something moving under the bindings on his right arm. Together, Reikai Tantei and Otaku no Shichiseishi (and Otaku no Miko, too) approached the youkai. It saw them, roared, and threw a boulder straight at Arin. Duo yelled in shock, the symbol for ni glowing in black on his collarbone. Suddenly, he appeared to freeze, then tossed aside his gun. Black bat wings sprouted from his back, and a scythe made of pure spiritual energy appeared. All this had taken less than an eye-blink. Duo sprang into the air, wings pumping, and sliced the boulder in half, each half falling ten feet away from a frozen, scared Arin. The youkai released a shuddering, screaming roar and attempted to blow Chichiri (who was the closest) to bits, and would have succeeded if not for the shield he set up. Arin gave a feline shriek of rage, plucked a quintet of throwing daggers from her waist pouch, and hurled them at the thing. Unfortunately, the youkai saw them coming, and reversed their flights. Faster than the eye could follow, Tasuki darted in front of Arin. Moving at top speed, barely more than a black-and-orange blur, he scooped all five out of the air and returned them to their rightful owner.  
  
"Arigatou, Tasuki," Arin said weakly, aware that death had just barely missed her. Tasuki spread the tessen, got into a battle stance, and aimed at the youkai.  
  
"Lekka Shinen!" The youkai was scorched, but otherwise unharmed. Arin heard a grunt from Hiei.  
  
"Ningen no baka. Let me handle this." With that, he raised his right arm, tore off the wrappings, and roared, "Jyaoh Ensatsu Kokuryuuha!" The Black Dragon Wave roared off Hiei's arm like the portable pyroclasm it was, two hundred feet of night-black dragon, bellowing fit to shatter eardrums. Turning on the startled youkai, the Dragon spit a stream of black Makai flame at it, incinerating the youkai instantly. Duo, Chichiri, and Tasuki all gaped, identically lost for words in the face of what had just happened. The Dragon, its rage spent, curled back onto Hiei's forearm, once again in the form of a tattoo, and Hiei dropped onto his rear in the wreckage, utterly tired out. Arin cheered, totally recovered from her fright.  
  
"Ne, Kurama? Are you ready to join us as an Otaku Seishi?"  
  
"Hai." Meanwhile, Duo was marveling at the new power he'd gained. Arin went to him and laid a friendly hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Daijoubu? That was cool, what you did, ne? I think that's your Seishi power." Duo flashed what Arin called 'a Maxwell grin' and the non-otaku population called a 'lunatic psycho grin' at his Miko.  
  
"Daaaaijoubu," he assured her, giving the word an almost insolent drawl. "That was really weird, but I think I could do it again. Let's go find the rest, hmm?" Arin beamed.  
  
"That's the spirit!" A little later, Arin thought to ask in what city they were. Kurama sighed.  
  
"Do you really need to know? We're not anywhere near any of the three Makai warlords, if you're worried." Arin beamed.  
  
"Good! I wanna keep as much distance between that lot and My Good Self as possible!" Arin looked up. The group was walking along a market street. Arin stopped to inspect a display of protective amulets being peddled by a smiling male cat spirit with black fur and green eyes. She sighed. "They probably don't take Ningen money." Kurama saw her.  
  
"No, they don't. Will you pay me back later, shall I get it for you?" The cat spirit spoke up.  
  
"I take barter, Lady." Arin blinked, flustered.  
  
"I'm no Lady…" She trailed off, not knowing the cat spirit's name. Fortunately, he provided it.  
  
"Yaru, Lady." Arin beamed.  
  
"As I said, Yaru, I'm no Lady. I'm just Arin." Suddenly, she remembered the flute she'd won a while back in a bet, a pretty affair made of highly- polished wood, and dug it out of her pack. "I don't play this, will it do?" When Yaru nodded an enthusiastic affirmative, Arin asked Kurama to help her pick out the best one. When he selected a crescent-shaped fragment of gold- wrapped fire opal on a slim gold chain, Arin beamed.  
  
"Red and gold are my colors, after all." Yaru piped up,  
  
"That amulet also has the property of returning one, when properly invoked, to one's true form, whether one is aware of the shape or not."  
  
"Cool." She invoked it, and her four Seishi, as well as the rest of the Reikai Tantei, watched as she curled in on herself with a yip of surprise. Arin uncurled, much changed. Her brown human eyes had changed to a jewel- like green, and her pupils were feline slits. Her ears were slightly pointed, and she had a barely-obvious-to-the-unobservant coat of fur, the color of a good suntan. When she yawned, the rest of her group could see pointed canine teeth. The puppy fat she'd had was transformed into sleek musculature, and she stood a good 6 inches taller than before. She blinked. "Whoa. I am WAY stronger and faster than before. I've changed, haven't I." It was not a question. She brought her hair, now waist-length, styled in a high ponytail, and curly, out from behind her back. "Even my hair's different!" She saw herself reflected in the water of a nearby fountain and yelled with joy. She raised her hand, and a sphere of flame flickered into being about an inch above it. The fire then disappeared, and her hand turned to stone and back, then she summoned a sphere of water, then a mini- tornado, then a lightning bolt, and then made a nearby patch of moss triple its size. She raised a finger, horizontally, and a sparrow fluttered onto it before flying away. A sphere of ice formed, then Arin's hand turned into metal and back, then a mini-stormcloud formed above her palm, and then, last but most definitely NOT least, a golden, sparkling mist formed around her hand, then raced to touch a bruise on Yuusuke's cheek. The bruise vanished. Arin shifted to a bakemono and back, then did a war dance around the square, whooping. "Yay! Yeah! Woohoo! I'm ME again!" Hiei rolled his eyes, all three of them, and asked,  
  
"Is she always like that?" Duo shrugged.  
  
"Near as I can tell." Arin razzed the genki American, then turned and waved to Botan. Duo asked, "Erm… You said the only full human in that group was Kuwabara, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"So what's Botan, hm?" Arin grinned.  
  
"She's a minor death deity."  
  
"So you're saying…"  
  
"Yes, Duo. She is Shinigami." Duo's jaw dropped.  
  
"You," he said flatly, "are kidding."  
  
"I," Arin said, mimicking him, "am not. Ask her yourself." He did, received his answer, then sat down hard on the cobblestones.  
  
"My life," he said, looking mildly shell-shocked, "is getting REALLY weird. I'm utterly disillusioned now, you know. The deity I chose as a namesake is an eternally cheerful, blue-ponytailed teenage girl, in a pink kimono, no less, riding on an oar."  
  
"I said she was a Shinigami, not the Shinigami," Arin put in, interrupting Duo's monologue. "Enma-sama's the head honcho where death deities are concerned."  
  
"Yeah, and he's my boss' dad," Yuusuke added. Duo rested his head in his hands, heaving a deep, exasperated sigh.  
  
"Oy vey. Well," he said, shifting directions, "it could be way worse. Botan could be the Shinigami instead of a Shinigami, and then where would my macho-ness go?" Yuusuke snickered.  
  
"You call yourself macho when you have more hair than I've ever seen on one person before in my life?" Duo growled.  
  
"Yes." Yuusuke shrugged.  
  
"Suit yerself." Duo snapped his wings to full extension, brought his Reiscythe to blazing, crackling life, and charged the smirking teenager with a roar.  
  
"DUO!" Arin shrieked. "Control yourself!" Duo returned to normal, looking faintly sheepish.  
  
"Gomen ne." Arin pulled out Duo's camera.  
  
"Oi Kurama! Pose for the camera!" Kurama struck a slinky pose, and the flash went off. Then, the kitsune suggested they go to see Genkai. When faced with unanimous acceptance, he went ahead and opened a gate. Predictably, as soon as the Reikai Tantei, and friends, showed up, so did the temple's owner.  
  
"AAAH!" Tasuki screeched. "SUNAKAKE BAABAA!" Of course, he was promptly thwapped by Genkai.  
  
"Hasn't anyone ever taught you respect for your elders?"  
  
"They tried." Tasuki's smile was edged. "They failed." Yuusuke nudged Chichiri in the ribs.  
  
"Oi, does he always do that?" The monk sighed.  
  
"I'm afraid so, no da." Yuusuke asked another question.  
  
"What's with the 'no da' thing? I mean, why do you do that?"  
  
"I always have, and I guess I always will, no da."  
  
"Aa." Chichiri sighed at his fire-haired friend's antics and sat down, hard, on the floor, only to stand up in a tearing hurry when, in response to another  
  
"SUNAKAKE BAABAA!", a blue-haired, very scary-looking youkai leaped down from the rafters and sliced the tip of his sword a bare inch away from the bandit's nose. Tasuki eeped, fell on his butt, scrambled up and ran to hide behind Chichiri. Hiei smirked.  
  
"Ningen no baka, it's only Shishiwakamaru." At the mention of his name, the swordsman smiled and transformed. His large horns faded back into his head, his snub nose lengthened slightly, and his eyes, black points before, shifted to human-like purple. Arin went starry-eyed.  
  
"Pretty boy pretty boy pretty boy," she whispered. Duo sweatdropped. Suddenly, a new voice, behind and slightly above Arin, yelled,  
  
"BOO!" Arin screamed, leaped at least a foot in the air, and whirled, glaring at the laughing, redheaded youkai who was hovering there.  
  
"JIN!" she roared. "You fuzz-assed, air-headed tornado fart!" Arin loosed a torrent of swearwords in several different languages, then borrowed Hiei's sword and chased after the terrified wind youkai with a screamed "Omae o korosu!" After ten minutes of this, she calmed down, however, chatting away with Jin like an old school buddy and returning Hiei's sword. The short, grouchy fire-youkai blinked.  
  
"Does she do this much?" All three of the Seishi Arin had brought to the YYH universe answered as one.  
  
"YES!" Arin pulled a face.  
  
"Biiidaaa. Kawaii chibi-baka-tachi,[3]" she added, then thought of something to do and plopped herself onto a startled Chichiri's lap, handing Yuusuke the camera. Seeing the opportunity, Tasuki and Duo flopped down on either side of her, and were snuggled. A mist rose up, which was surprising for Arin since mist, even half an hour before sundown, did not happen indoors. A familiar, fox-eared, five-tailed form stepped out of the mist to stand before her, then, with a vulpine grin, Youko Kurama knelt down, locked his arms around the (yet again starry-eyed) otaku's waist, and rested his head in her lap. Even through her jeans, it felt good there, and Arin took the opportunity to tweak one of the Kitsune's pointy fox ears, giggling when it twitched, before replacing her right arm around Duo and telling Yuusuke, "OK, take the picture." Upon seeing the results, she giggled and handed Duo his precious Polaroid, seconds before Youko Kurama crept up behind her, wrapped his arms around her, and nuzzled her neck. Arin eeped, and Duo, grinning, took a picture. Only two minutes after Arin had stowed the last picture, a 'V-Symbol Seishi Group Shot', safely in her beloved photo album, her four Seishi gathered around, and, as the sun set, the pendant glowed jade-green and the five friends were transported to another world.  
  
[1] Reikai Annanin = Spirit-world Ferrygirl.  
  
[2] An Amazon knife is a knife that looks, well, something like one of those potato-masher things. You hold the wooden handle like Heero holds the self-destruct button and the blade, a rounded steel triangle, is over your knuckles. Since I like exotic weaponry, the Amazon is my favorite kind of knife.  
  
[3] Literally, 'cute little idiots.'  
  
  
  
Next time:  
  
Otaku no Miko no Monogatari: Chapter 4  
  
Grass Mower 


	5. Grass Mower

Otaku no Miko no Monogatari: Chapter 4  
  
Grass Mower  
  
By Fire Child  
  
Heyla! I am finally writing this! My Muses haven't deserted me yet! It's about TIME, isn't it? The disclaimers are in the prologue, which y'all have probably read by now. Apologies for the lack of length, but Chapter 5 will more than make up for that. (I hope!) So, on with da fic!  
  
The five travelers were abruptly in the middle of a suspiciously empty city street. "Well, this is a step up," Arin muttered. "At least we're conscious this time around." A ringing, vaguely feline screech echoed through the air. "Or not." The team raced to see where the screech came from, only to be faced with…  
  
"What the HELL is THAT?"  
  
"A cat Aragami," Arin responded calmly, "which means I know who my next Seishi is."  
  
"But how do we deal with THAT?" Arin turned to face the understandably petrified Gundam pilot.  
  
"Simple." She faced Tasuki and indicated the small-house-sized cat-thing. "Tasuki? Can you get up to its forehead fast enough to get the blue bead- like thing off of there without getting hurt?" The fang-boy snorted.  
  
"Can I do it? Is Taiitsukun ugly? Of course I can do it!" With that, he utilized his Seishi power, super speed, and vanished from sight. Just as the Aragami began to shrink, howling fit to burst eardrums, Tasuki appeared, mitama in hand. "Is this it?"  
  
"Hai! Give it here!" Arin snatched the mitama, threw it to the ground, and stomped on it. Just then, the Aragami was abruptly… not an Aragami. Instead of the towering Thing, a tiny, fluffy red kitten sat on the roadway, looking up at the Miko with huge, bemused green eyes. Arin melted. "Kawaii!" She scooped the kitten up, found it to be male, and set him on her shoulder, where he sat as if he'd done that all his life, purring like a motorcycle. Arin addressed him. "I think I'm gonna call you Kurama-ko." Seeing that her four Seishi were all looking at her as if she'd grown antlers, she defended her choice. "What? He's Kurama's neko-twin!" And he was, too. They both were kawaii males with large emerald eyes and fluffy red hair/fur. Suddenly, a red-and-green blur shot down from a building nearby and resolved into Mamoru Kusanagi.  
  
"Well, where IS it?" he demanded irritably, but Arin was equal to him.  
  
"The mitama? Right there." She pointed to the rapidly dispersing smattering of sapphire dust that was the remains of said mitama. "What used to be the Aragami? Right here." She indicated Kurama-ko. Kusanagi blinked.  
  
"How'd you get the mitama off without damaging the host?" Arin snickered. "What?"  
  
"You've been hanging out with Matsudaira-san too long. You're starting to talk like her." The Aragami teen made a disgusted face. "As to the mitama, I didn't remove it. You can thank Tasuki for that." She indicated the bandit. Just then, the TAC drove up, with Momiji in tow. Arin greeted them cheerfully. "You're a bit late for the party," she informed them. "The cat Aragami is now just a cat, and I'm keeping him." Back at the headquarters, Arin had finally wrapped up her story thus far. "Well, that's what's happened to me. No, Matsudaira-san, you may not study me. I don't want to be a lab rat any more than Kusanagi or Momiji do." Kusanagi whapped his forehead with a gloved hand.  
  
"Well, now she's done it. We'll never get any rest now." Arin looked up.  
  
"Ne, Kusanagi? What's that on your forehead?" It was a scar in the shape of a kanji symbol. "Hmm. 'Kusa'. It figures." Then, the Otaku no Miko turned to Momiji. "Before you get mad at me, I'm just checking a hunch. I recognize your claim on him, and have little or no interest in him as a potential love interest. I don't quite know what you see in him, him being a big-mouthed, ecchi potato-head,"  
  
"HEY!"  
  
"but I don't know who else it could be in this frame." With that, Arin turned to the Aragami teenager and kissed him soundly on the lips, receiving a gentle response before pulling away. "I was right!" The symbol for 'kusa' glowed in jade on Kusanagi's forehead. "You're one of my Seishi, Kusanagi!" Fortunately for Arin's and Momiji's growing friendship, Momiji had read some of the 'Fushigi Yuugi' manga, and knew what a Seishi was.  
  
"Oh, OK. Just so you know, Kusanagi is turning green."  
  
"Since he has green blood, that has to be a blush." It was. When it came time for the prerequisite Snuggle-Pic, Kusanagi merely perched on her knees, because there wasn't enough room elsewhere! The two Suzaku Seishi were on Arin's either side, she was on Duo's lap, and Kurama's head was on her lap, so… Koume was snickering as she snapped the picture, much to Arin's acute embarrassment. When asked to pose for an individual shot, Kusanagi merely popped his wrist-blades and stood in a defensive posture, grinning like a maniac. Koume tapped Arin on the shoulder.  
  
"Why are you taking pictures?"  
  
"So my fellow otaku-tachi back where I'm from will believe me."  
  
"And be jealous?"  
  
"Bingo." The Seishi-Group-V-Symbol-Shot was a huge success, and just then, the sun began to set. The Seishi clustered around as the pendant glowed sandy-gold and whisked them away to the next dimension.  
  
  
  
Next time:  
  
Otaku no Miko no Monogatari: Chapter 5  
  
Gunsmoke 


	6. Gunsmoke

Otaku no Miko no Monogatari: Chapter 5  
  
Gunsmoke  
  
by Fire Child  
  
Yo! My Muses finally got their lazy @$$es kicked into action, so here's chapter 5! Yes, I'm FINALLY writing! ~sees her readers falling over in shock~ What?  
===============================================================  
  
The group woke up in a desert. Kusanagi took one look at the heat and the twin suns, swore loudly, and shucked off his trench coat, Tasuki and Duo following his example. "Hey Chichiri, mind putting these in your kasa?"  
  
"Sure thing, no da. Hey, I can do something about this!" He formed something like an opaque bubble around the Otaku Seishi and their Miko, so that they were effectively traveling in a red twilight. Arin beamed.  
  
"Doumo, Chichiri! Now, if only we had something to help find Seishi, because there is NOBODY out here." He produced a crystal ball.  
  
"I forgot I had this no da." Group facefault. "As soon as you hold it, a clue to the next Seishi will appear no da." Arin took the crystal ball, and two characters in sandy gold floated up out of the depths of the sphere.  
  
"'Ai' and `heiwa'," Arin grinned. "Love and peace. I think I know who my next Seishi is." With that, the six got walking. Some hours later, a cloud of dust appeared on the horizon. "I sure hope that's Vash's group and not Knives or the Gung-Ho Guns," Arin muttered. It was, as they found out not fifteen minutes later, as the four misfits reined in their....  
  
"What the hell are those?" Kusanagi wondered. Milly shrugged.  
  
"Beats me. They're useful, though..." Arin shuddered as one of the bizarre transports swung it's head (nose?) over to sniff her.  
  
"Whatever, just keep it the hells away from me... Ewwww...." Kusanagi caught sight of Wolfwood and rolled his eyes.  
  
"Man, not ANOTHER priest-dude......" He broke off, as Duo had also spotted Wolfwood, yelled `COOL!' and peppered the man with chatter. Arin sighed.  
  
"Oy vey..." The two groups joined up, getting to a nearby town in a couple of hours. Once they'd sat down in a saloon, they began talking. Arin started out by explaining the whole `Otaku no Miko' thing, then introduced her Seishi. "This is Chichiri," the mage chirped a cheerful `Da!', "Tasuki," the bandit flashed a fanged grin, "Duo, who I presume has already introduced himself to you, Wolfwood..."  
"Just call me Nick, everyone does."  
"Gotcha, Nick."  
"Thanks."  
"This is Kurama," the Kitsune flashed what Arin had termed a `lady-killer' grin at the girls, "and this is Kusanagi." The half-Aragami grinned.  
  
"Yo." Meryl blinked.  
  
"Are any of you human?" Arin chuckled.  
  
"I'm a Felinari..."  
  
"A what?"  
  
"Think `neko-elf' and you've pretty much got it."  
  
"Okay..."  
  
"I think Tasuki is half-Felinari, what with the eye color and the fangs, but I'm not sure, Kurama is a fox-spirit, and Kusanagi can best be termed a Recombinant, albeit one changed from a human and made by magic instead of science, but the rest are all human, if strange." Arin grinned. "Get it?" Milly chirped,  
  
"Got it!" Duo quickly added,  
  
"Good!" Arin chuckled.  
  
"Cool points! `Court Jester'?" The braided teen beamed.  
  
"Yep!"  
  
"Hey Vash? I know you've got a lot of scars, but do you have one in the shape of a kanji character?" At this, all five Otaku Seishi flashed their symbols. The Humanoid Typhoon thought for a second.  
  
"Yeah I do! It's on the back of my right hand. It's a tattoo, actually..." He pulled off his glove to display the character `ai' on the back of his hand.  
  
"'Love'? Suitable for one who calls himself a `Love Hunter' and whose catchphrase is `Love and Peace!', ne?" Upon hearing this, Duo muttered,  
  
"Sounds like he'd get along great with Relena..." But he trailed off as Arin leaned across the table and kissed the Stampede straight on the mouth. Right at that moment, Arin was as happy as she had been since she'd started this `Otaku no Miko' business. Vash's kiss, despite his reputation as a skirt-chaser, was sweet and shy, and the kiss was quite long.  
~Damn need to breathe!~ Arin thought as they pulled apart. The `ai' symbol on Vash's hand was glowing sandy-gold, and Meryl looked more than a tad annoyed. "Look at it this way," the grinning Miko chirped, "since he'll be traveling with us until this is over, you'll have him out of your hair for a while, ne?" The insurance girl sighed.  
  
"I guess you're right." Vash was practicing turning his symbol on and off. A waitress bustled up and took their orders. Arin asked for a soda, having been informed they existed on this planet.  
  
"Underage, hon?" Arin grinned rakishly.  
  
"Nah, just don't wanna get plastered."  
  
"Ah. Nice going, hon. I knew SOMEONE would bag him," she nodded towards Vash, "sooner or later." Arin squawked and clued the waitress in, much to Kusanagi's vast amusement. The waitress grinned, and, as she passed, dropped a stray ice cube down the plant-boy's back. Arin cracked up.  
  
"Thanks!" Once Kusanagi had extracted the ice cube from the back of his shirt, Duo pointed out,  
  
"You didn't introduce them..." Arin drooped her ears and grinned sheepishly.  
  
"Oops. Minna, these are Vash the Stampede," Vash grinned, "Nick Wolfwood," the preacher-man nodded, "Meryl Strife," Meryl followed Nick's example, "and Milly Thompson." Milly smiled and waved. Arin suddenly decided to find out when they were in the Trigun continuum. "Say, Nick? Heard anything about Zazie the Beast?"  
"Yup. Weird kid, could control sandworms. Had to kill him to save us." Arin was about to get mad, not because of the laconic reply, but because, dangerous or not, a kid was a kid, when Duo defused the situation.  
  
"What's a sandworm?" Arin told him.  
  
"Think centipede. Now, think giant, deadly, sand-dwelling centipede." Duo blanched.  
  
"Yikes."  
  
"Exactly." Kusanagi snorted and folded his arms over his chest.  
  
"Couldn't be any worse than what I've faced." Meryl scoffed.  
  
"How could it get worse?" Kusanagi told her. She paled. "Oh." Kurama chimed in with his own tales of the Makai, Tasuki added a few anecdotes, and Duo told a few of his own war stories. Vash tried his hardest to top them, providing a few tales of his own, and Nick, Milly, and Meryl occasionally added on to the conversation. Subsequently, they were all happily entertained by the time the waitress brought their drinks, and the liquid only served to whet their conversational appetites further. As it got closer to dinnertime, stomachs started rumbling, and dinner was ordered. The presence of food dulled the happy chatter not a bit, and Arin had to raise her voice a bit.  
  
"Vash, how soon is it to sunsdown?"  
  
"3 hours. We'd better finish up and get back to the hotel. Why?"  
  
"Because the `tween-worlds transport starts at sundown... well, sunsdown, anyway... and we," she indicated Vash, herself, and the rest of the Otaku Seishi, "all have to be touching when it happens." They finished up, paid, and trooped back to the hotel. This had a common room between the two rooms they already had, and that was where the group ended up. Arin handed off the camera to Duo and glomped Vash, then grabbed it back for a Seishi V-Symbol Group Shot, then handed it off to Nick for the cuddle shot... which ended up with all six Seishi draped around their Miko like love-slaves, because there wasn't enough room... a fact which cracked Milly up.  
  
"Such a thing as too much, ne?" Arin rolled her eyes. They talked for a few hours more, during which time Arin, at Vash's urging, glomped Nick, leaving him surprised and faintly pleased, Arin grinning like a fiend, and Milly and the Otaku Seishi cracking up at Meryl's rather scandalized expression. Arin once again took the crystal ball, and two more characters, this time in fiery orange, floated up.  
  
"'Black' and `mind'?" Millie asked, puzzled. Arin thought for a bit.  
  
"Black.... kuro... schwartz? Mind.... MasterMind...... telepath....... orange.... orange hair....... orange-haired telepath from Schwartz........ Schuldich!" Then, she had a BAD thought. "Schu = the rest of Schwartz = ....oh, crudruckers, I'm gonna have to deal with the scariest dude in the universe."  
  
"Tenkou?" Tasuki asked.  
"Scarier."  
  
"Dekim Barton?" Duo wanted to know.  
  
"Scarier."  
  
"Raizen?" Kurama inquired.  
  
"Scarier."  
  
"Yamata-no-Orochi?" Kusanagi suggested.  
  
"Scarier."  
  
"Legato?" Vash thought out loud.  
  
"Scarier."  
  
"WHAT could possibly be scarier than Legato Bluesummers?" Meryl screeched.  
  
"Farfarello." Arin said simply. "He's a knife-licking, self-mutilating, one-yellow-eyed, straitjacket-wearing raving maniac who wants to hurt God." Everyone else in the room blinked.  
  
"Whoa." Duo winced.  
  
"Guess I'm gonna have to hide my cross, then."  
  
"I'll say." Just then, the first of the twin suns set, and the Seishi gathered around their Miko. About three minutes later, the other sun set, the pendant glowed orange, and the Otaku Seishi and their Miko were whisked between worlds once more.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Next chapter:  
  
Otaku no Miko no Monogatari: Chapter 6  
  
MasterMind 


End file.
